SOUL MATES UNLIMITED® Jewish Matchmaking Service

Judith Gottesman, Matchmaker and Dating Coach for Singles in the San Francisco Bay Area, San Diego, Orange County, Los Angeles, Sacramento, Portland, Hawaii, and Beyond

Orange County Jewish Life: Searching for Soulmates

Sometimes throwing your hat into the dating ring isn't enough. Many people choose to throw their proverbial hat into a more 'defined' ring and find it important to date strictly within their religious faith. If this is the case and you fall into this category, then Soul Mates Unlimited may be a good option for you. JLife caught up with Soul Mates Unlimited owner Judith Gottesman to get the skinny on dating exclusively 'Jewish.'

What is your take on intermarriage vs. marrying Jewish? In my business I deal exclusively with Jewish clientele, so I only do Jewish matches. Most of my clients aren't religious and many are willing to marry (or already have married and divorced) people who aren't Jewish.  But, they still prefer a Jewish mate. Some people, due to the difficulties in raising children with their non-Jewish former spouse, definitely want a Jewish mate second time around.
Of course some intermarriages can work, but with the divorce rate already high, why make things harder from the start? Seek similarities and things in common rather than major differences in a soulmate match. The best matches share core values, beliefs and lifestyle, and religion is part of that for most people. It can be very difficult for Jews to find one another, and for the sake of Jewish continuity and religious harmony in the home, I encourage people to marry within their faith. I strive to create happy, lasting marriages which also keep Jewish tradition alive.

What is your best advice for singles? Most importantly, stay hopeful. Believe there is someone out there for you. People who don't give up, believe they'll find love and stay open increase their chances for a relationship. Being open (to height, age, having kids, being divorced, long distance, etc.) to the person in a different package than you pictured, is really the most important thing for success in finding love. Having hope is the primary ingredient to get people to take action and be proactive about finding [love].

What can you do to look your best?  Get your hair trimmed and/or styled so it looks healthy and fresh. Women: put on some make-up and make sure to cover those grey roots, if you have any. Whiten your teeth if they're yellowing (there are inexpensive, natural, easy methods to do at home). Get a new, stylish outfit that makes you feel comfortable and attractive. Right before your date, brush your teeth and have a breath mint, and check your face and hair in the mirror. Most important while on the date: smile and have a good attitude! People who are tired of dating, cynical, bitter about an ex or the opposite sex, etc. will give off that energy and put off their date, so be positive, be friendly and keep the conversation light.

Judith has a 'Dating Tips and Horror Stories' in a video blog with some funny and weird dates worth checking out at: www.soulmatesunlimited.com/datingtips.html.